Screw Cinco de mayo! Let's do the Siete baby!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010 at 4:43PM 
Panorama Productions presents: The first annual Siete de Mayo celebration!
Honestly, can anyone really tell me what the heck is Cinco de Mayo? I mean I know what it is, the 5th of May, but why in the hell are we celebrating one ridiculous day out of 365 in a year?
Here’s what Wikipedia has to say about this:
Cinco de Mayo (Spanish for "fifth of May") "is a voluntarily-observed holiday that commemorates the Mexican army's unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, under the leadership of General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín. It is celebrated primarily in the state of Puebla and in the United States. While Cinco de Mayo has limited significance nationwide in Mexico, the date is observed in the United States and other locations around the world as a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride. Cinco de Mayo is not Mexico's Independence Day, the most important national patriotic holiday in Mexico."
I realize America is a melting pot of people from all over the world, especially in DC, and I realize that includes our Mexican brothers and sisters, but we are talking about a holiday that is celebrated by all cultures and people as though it personally relates to them. So basically it’s comes down to an excuse to drink. But who needs an excuse to drink? I need not a calendar date to forgive me for overindulging on tacos or tequila.
Seeing as Panorama Productions packs Lima, Ultrabar and Fur on any given night with or without a holiday as an excuse, I’d say nobody else needs an excuse either.
Why is May 5th special anyway? It seems very cliché and quite honestly I hate holidays. So I don’t go to hell, I will not include religious holidays into that statement, but all these dumb holidays are annoying. I even dislike my own birthday. Ok I was born la di da, but what is the point of celebrating it every year? Sheet cakes are gross, streamers are tacky and it’s just a big fat reminder of being another year closer to wrinkles and death. Don’t even get me started on Valentine’s Day. It’s commercial, sappy and created by Hallmark to make a lot of money. For spiteful personal reasons St. Patrick’s Day is forever dead to me. Halloween is an excuse to dress like a whore and based on what I see every night at the clubs nobody needs an excuse for that either.
Who makes these holidays up? I see Facebook posts by people saying “Happy Secretary Day”, “Happy Plummer’s Day”. It reminds me of high school when everyone was applying for scholarships and grants for college and they literally had some sort of scholarship for everything you can possibly imagine. If you have red hair, freckles and only 9 toes there was an essay contest for you to win $200 for your college education.
That’s why I’m personally proud of Panorama’s idea to have a party not on Cinco de Mayo but on Siete de Mayo, this Friday. I see it as a middle finger to Cinco de Mayo and to all lame holidays. Because who needs these excuses to go out and have fun, just do it.
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